Friday, October 26, 2018

Lost


Am I chasing stars or running away from the moon? 
I can’t tell anymore 
I know I’m lost in the wilderness 
I like it that way. 
Sometimes in my childhood 
I’d walk barefoot along warm dirt roads 
looking for wild strawberries under the late June sun 
Other times I’d sneak into the woods 
to sit near a frog pond
and read Ayn Rand while I smoked my parents’ cigarettes. 
I climbed a pine tree to ride out a thunder storm once
like John Muir 
In the noise and the rain and the wind 
hanging on for a dearer life
I saw Heaven all around me 
shining through the cracks in a deep indigo sky
When the storm was over 
I climbed down wet branches
blinded 
and seeing more than I ever had before.
Later I traded that vision
for answers to all the wrong questions
and a map to all the wrong places
In that darkness
with no lightning to guide me
I almost couldn’t find my way back.
It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done
getting lost again 
in the wilderness
to play with the stars and the moon.
I like it that way.

~Becky Robbins

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